By Jaqueline Sephora Andrews
Aoife is someone who I once considered a friend, even though it was against my better judgement. I knew that Aoife was a trans activist, but I was hoping that she had made a change and was willing to stand in support of women. I was hopeful because there weren’t very many transwoman who were willing to support women. Aoife played the part, an expert manipulator who targeted women. Aoife is a person who knows how to flatter, and did convince women to support her even at the expense of their own security. I honestly always had mixed feelings about Aoife. I wanted to support her because I felt that she needed support, and I was going to do my best to be a true friend. Of course, I was also deceived. Maybe I just wanted to believe that Aoife was different? I wanted to believe that she was truthful, so I took Aoife at her word. The reality was that everything in me was telling me to be cautious. And now I am left with one of my biggest regrets, that I was ever friends with Aoife.
I remember my conversation on Twitter with a radical feminist, when I was first told of Aoife’s actions. She asked me, “did you peep the racist white TG try to sneak in racism to undermine the rights of women?” I was surprised when she said that she was talking about Aoife. Our conversation continued in a private message, where we could both talk honestly and openly. It was the first time where I really began to become skeptical of Aoife. I was trying to be her friend, but I did take notice every time I saw something about her. I might have responded to a few tweets, where I thought people were lying (I now believe every tweet about her), there were tweets from radical feminists that I took notice of and they did make me more cautious about Aoife. The radical feminists who warned about Aoife were vilified, but the truth is that they were right all along.
I always try to be a loyal friend, even to Aoife. But what Aoife did not understand is that I would never turn on radical feminists; there was never an us versus them. The truth is that the person who I trust more than anyone, who I love dearly and consider family, is a radical feminist; I am and will always be on her side, and I will always stand with her. About 90% of people who I communicate with regularly on social media are radical feminists. Aoife might have thought I was on her side, but I would never let anything or anyone come between my sister or radical feminists who I also communicate with. And please make no mistake, I am also completely against the trans movement, of which Aoife is a part of. I believe that Aoife was an infiltrator, who was also seeking validation from radical feminists. However, I did not know that Aoife was actually declaring herself to be a radical feminist; I also did not know that Aoife tweeted about being into a convent, which is a boundary violation. Honestly, I was always uncomfortable with her nun fetish. And now, knowing that Aoife did violate boundaries; it makes the fetish even more creepy.
Aoife was also considered a “gender critical transwoman,” and one of the main reasons why I became skeptical of some transwomen who identified as “gender critical.” So, in an article where I wrote that safety is within relationships, I also critiqued the concept of a transwoman being gender critical. It wasn’t that I distrust transwomen who claim to be gender critical, it ‘s just that I know that there are some who will use the label “gender critical” as an attempt to be validated by radical feminists. I am critical of the system of gender, but I am skepital of “gender critical” as an identity. It is the seeking of validation which can make a “gender critical” transwoman a threat to the safety of relationships. Aoife was given a platform because she claimed to be “gender critical.” There seems to be a belief among these validation seeking “gender critical” transwomen that radical feminists hate transwomen, so if they could prove to be zealous in their hate, radical feminists will acknowledge them as women. However, I haven’t met a radical feminist who hates transwomen. Being against a movement does not equal hatred toward individual people within the movement. But for these transgenderists in disguise, radical feminists are so awful because they won’t declare that these males are women; it is the typical misogyny and bullying that so many transwomen have shown. Aoife also used her platform to bully liberal feminists. Agree or disagree with ideology, liberal feminists are still people and did not deserve to be bullied by Aoife.
Aoife caused division, which I did not want to be a part of, so I took a break from twitter believing that it was the people Aoife was fighting who were causing division; I was still under the impression that they were lying. I was really nervous about reengaging on twitter, and I still did not engage even after I reactivated. And then it was, on a night where I could not sleep that I logged onto Twitter and saw Aoife calling women Trans Exclusionary Radical Feminists (TERFs). I also saw that Aoife befriended abusive transwomen. Like other transgenderists, Aoife plays the victim, saying that “TERFs are so scarry,” but Aoife is the one who is the misogynistic bully.
You claim “TERFs are scarry,” Aoife, but you would friend a sick and perverted man who would dare name his body parts after a woman? You want people to sympathize with you, but you would friend a man who is either a rapist or potential rapist, who believes that “TERFs want to be plowed,” and you want to play the victim? You are the misogynist. You want to be the innocent delicate victim, but you not only friend a rapist, but imply that you both would doxx women? You are not the victim, but you are a bully. Even for me, the problem with Twitter was Aoife, and before I could reengage, I had to unfriend/unfollow Aoife. And shortly after I unfriended, every thing came to light; I believe everything that was said about Aoife is the truth.
It is completely disgusting that Aoife would garner sympathy, when it was Aoife who targeted women. Was this how you got your kicks Aoife? You would use flattering words seeking to gain the trust of women. Was it fun for you to see women defending you against those “scarry TERFs,” until they too became “scarry TERFs?” But let’s all play your game, you’re the victim, right? No, you are a misogynistic bully who demanded to be validated by feminists. You caused division and demanded that women come to your defense to prove their worth to you, but do you understand what it means to be a friend? There were radical feminists who did support you, but if you were a true friend then you would not demand that they be caught in the middle of your attempts to divide women. If you were a true friend then you would have cared as much about their safety and well-being, as you expected them to care about your’s; you would have not made fighting in your Twitter battle a requirement for friendship. Aoife, you are a liar! Even to the women you flattered, who did defend you at a risk to their own well-being. You promised them that you would always be their friend, but when you had no use for them you disposed of them. Aoife, you are a user! Did you enjoy seeing women fight over you? We spent a day on twitter talking about you and the hurt you caused. There were women who were hurt because of you, and you want to play the victim? You want to associate with your violent friends, while you blame the women who trusted you? Aoife, you are a bully and a misogynist.
It is absolutely necessary to support women. As much as Aoife demands to be validated, she will never be an actual woman. If we say we are for women, then there is no need to coddle a misgoynist like Aoife. I don’t have time to play the let’s validate Aoife game. The “gender critical” transwoman who is seeking validation is a threat to the safety of relationships. This may seem like a rather harsh critique, but I have to be true to what I stand for. I was a friend to Aoife, but I will not be a friend to someone who would threaten the security of people I care about. I will not be a friend to a misogynist, who has no regard for the women she hurt. How can anyone say that they support women, if they support a misogynistic bully like Aoife?